How Deep The Father's Love For Us

What He must be…

Andy — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 20:27:00 +0000

New book coming out that you fathers out there might be interested in called “What He Must Be: …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter” by Voddie T. Baucham Jr. I know that being a new father is heard enough if your wanting to raise your children in the ways of the Lord, a new challenge is added with the child is a girl. Since I am a father of a little girl, I want her to marry a godly man

that loves Jesus & will respect my daughter. To be quite honest, it scares me to death. I want to keep her in a box completely protected from every kind of evil & never let anyone hurt her. But what I realized was that while no one else was hurting her, I was by not allowing her to be her & to make mistakes & allowing her to feel hurt & pain even though it kills me to see her hurting or in pain. She is my pride & joy. Next to her mom, she is what I look forward to seeing every night. I love playing with her, snuggling her, rocking her to sleep, praying over her, and watching her excitement on Christmas morning opening presents & playing with her new toys.

I know that it is a long way off before Maddy starts dating & thinking about boys (or as my father-in-law calls them, Pigs). I have to agree with him. That’s what he called me when I was dating my wife. He told me “I know how to hide a body”. If that doesn’t scare a boy off of your porch, then this quote from Bill Engval should “You see that little girl over there, she’s my whole life! So if you have any thoughts about huggin or kissen, just remember one thing, I’ve got no problems going back to prison”.

My plan is for her to be filled with so much love from her daddy & from her Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, that she will not be seeking love & affection from Pigs, oh I mean boys. One thing I want to start doing is taking Maddy on “Daddy Dates” in which we can go out to places that she likes & do the things she wants to so she can have one on one time with daddy. That’s the one thing I don’t ever want to deprive her of, time with daddy. Anyway, back to the book.

An excerpt isn’t available yet, but here is a bit of a description from the publisher, Crossway.

What will you say when that certain young man sits down in your living room, sweaty-palmed and tongue-tied, and asks your permission to marry your daughter? What criteria should he meet before the two of them join together for life? What He Must Be… If He Wants to Marry My Daughter outlines ten qualities parents should look for in a son-in-law, including trustworthiness, a willingness to lead his family, an understanding of his wife’s role, and various spiritual leadership qualities.

Author Voddie Baucham follows up on his popular book Family Driven Faith with this compelling apologetic of biblical manhood. By studying the principles outlined in his book, parents who want their daughter to marry a godly man—as well as those who want their sons to become godly men—will be well equipped to help their children look for and develop these God-honoring qualities.

I’ve heard Voddie Baucham speak before & am looking forward to getting & reading this book. For those who don’t know whether or not to get this, once I have read it, I will blog about what I have learned to see if that doesn’t compel you to get it for yourself.

Till next time, Have a safe & blessed New Year in 2009.

Father’s Raising Daughters

Andy — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:32:00 +0000

Here is some great insight on how father’s should raise their daughters, from a daughter:

Here is link to the “Peasant Princess” sermon Series from Mars Hill Church.

Should forgiveness be automatic or conditional?

Andy — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:24:00 +0000

I have just started a new book called “Unpacking Forgiveness” subtitled “Biblical answers to complex questions and deep wounds” by Chris Brauns.

In Chapter 3, Brauns established that the foundational principle for understanding forgiveness is that Christians are called to forgive others as God forgave them. God’s forgiveness is a commitment by the one true God to pardon graciously those who repent and believe so that they are reconciled to him, although not all consequences are eliminated.

Luke 17:3-4 :
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him,
And if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you
Seven times in a day, and turns to you seven times, saying,
‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

According to what Jesus says here in Luke, repentance precedes forgiveness. It isn’t automatic. Now I know there are things that we need to just let roll off of our back.

I guess I should share the reason I decided to read this book. About 3 years ago I was clinically diagnosed with ADHD (Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) after my wife & I had been going through some counseling. The majority of the issues my wife was having a problem with was a result of my ADHD. Such as my lack of ability to sit still in Church, my inability to remember much if anything my wife & I had discussed, I couldn’t go 6 months without either being pulled over for speeding or getting a ticket as a result of speeding, I couldn’t keep a job very long (within 6 to 9 months of starting a new job, I would be ready to look for a new one.), I would never finish anything I set out to accomplish, & one of my own issues is that I wanted to be a reader, but could read for 15 minutes & have to start over because I couldn’t remember or even comprehend what I had read. Since then I have been taking medication to help correct the majority of the problems associated with my ADHD. November 16, 2008 marks 3 years that I have been @ Regence, February 5, 2009 will mark 3 years of not even being pulled over for any reason, & I have read more in the last 3 years than I have read in my entire life. I now enjoy reading. One thing the medication can’t completely fix is my holding on to a perceived issue/offense that may or may not have been committed against me. I just couldn’t let things go, and one would pile up on top of another to the point that I would become passive/aggressive, and would never confront the offender but would be mean or rude to them & never let them know why. It has started to ruin my family, both immediate & otherwise. I would avoid those whom I was angry with. I ended up ostracizing myself from everyone that has ever hurt me. I ended up alone, angry, & didn’t understand why.

All of a sudden, one day all of the bitterness & resentment was gone that I had toward my in-laws for many years. I no longer had any ill feelings toward them & am able to enjoy them for who they are & what they bring to the table. They are very generous people. They were and have always been very gracious to me, even during the times in which I hurt them the most. I am forever grateful to them & for them for showing me how to love those who hurt you. The only way I can explain how this happened was that God the Holy Spirit relieved me of the anger & bitterness that plagued me. I praise God for that.

In Chapter 4, Brauns “argued that Christian Forgiveness is a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability and to be reconciled to that person, although not all consequences are necessarily eliminated. He says that any Christian who is offended should graciously wrap a present of forgiveness & offer it to all who offend him or her. If the offenders choose to open the package, they will find forgiveness & reconciliation inside.” This just floored me. Though I have read Luke 17:2-3 before never got this from it. It is concept that I will try to make a practice of.

As I continue on in the next few chapters, I will try to add another entry on what I have read.

How Deep The Fathers Love For Us

Andy — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:32:00 +0000

How deep the Father’s love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon his cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Husbands As Stay-At-Home Dads

Andy — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:22:00 +0000

A Great response to the question, should a christian man be a stay @ home dad.

Death by Love

Andy — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:27:00 +0000

I got a new book recently called Death by Love: Letters from the Cross by Mark Driscoll & Gerry Bershears. The book is about 12 different aspects of the cross & they explain them by writing 12 letters, one to a member of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA in which Mark Driscoll is Preaching & Teaching pastor. Each letter is written to a specific person in the church & they start off by giving the person’s story, then Mark writes a letter to them explaining how a particular aspect of the Cross can be appropriated to them & their situation. The first chapter really got me angered. It’s titled “Demons are tormenting me: Jesus is Katie’s Christus Victor (Colossians 2:13-15).” It starts off by telling Katie’s story of how she grew up in what appeared to be a normal christian home with semi-regular church attendance. Even though her father was successful in business & a leader in the church, he was a coward who avoided most of his homeward responsibilities by ignoring the well-being of his kids & getting drunk all the time. This really hit home for me because my dad would do the same thing when I was really young, he would work, then come home to a six pack & a 5Th of Seagram’s Seven. In his mind, providing financially was his only responsibility. He later came to know the Lord, then he passed away when I was 16.

Here is a little more from Katie’s story:

From an early age, Katie began experiencing various forms of demonic oppression. She would hear from spirits that her father was negligent toward her because she was stupid, ugly, and not worthy of protection. She also suffered from horrendous nightmares and many physical pains following her molestation at age six at the hands of a male relative.

This just makes me cringe with anger & sadness! Just the thought that something like that could ever happen to my little girl, makes my eyes fill with tears. But we live in a fallen world where given the right circumstances, anyone of us could be that male relative, friend or acquaintance. One thing I do to guard myself & my family is that I will never watch someone elses child alone. Not to say that I am prone to that sort of sick crap, but that I do not think that I am exempt from sin of any kind.

Here’s a little more of Katie’s story:

During her teen years, Katie was a dangerous combination of gullible, needy, and rebellious. Partly due to the lack of affection from her father, she craved male approval and touch. Because her father did not teach her about boys, she quickly trusted the first young men who showed any interest in her. By the age of thirteen she was sexually active and, although it is painful to admit, in many ways traded the use of her body for the approval and companionship of young men. None of those young men ever truly cared about her, invested in her, or looked out for her.
Over time, the sins she was committing and the sins that were being committed against her conspired to infect much of her soul. The flicker of passion that remained was for her father. Deep down she desperately wanted her father to cherish her, protect her, and rescue her. At times she actually snuck boys into her bedroom to have sex with them while her father was home. Despite the noises coming from her bedroom, her father never once opened the door to check on his little girl. She wanted her father to know of her secret life but lacked the courage and relationship to confess it to him. She wished he would simply ask her how she was doing, speak to one of her boyfriends, or walk into her room late at night to discover that her sexual moaning was in fact a confused cry for help from a little girl’s heart trapped in a ravished woman’s body.

Tragically, her father never pursued or protected her. On one occasion he did knock on her door while she was having sex with a boyfriend but did not enter the room or do anything to show concern for his daughter. To make matters worse, rather than instructing and protecting, her father chose instead to mock her in front of the rest of the family for her parade of loser boyfriends, which only increased her shame and sense of worthlessness, since some of the boys who were the butt of her father’s jokes were actually her rapists.

This just makes my stomach turn! The thought that all of that could have been prevented if only he took time to love his daughter. I love my daughter with all that a father should love his daughter. I love snuggling with her on the couch, I love playing with her in our living room with her toys & chasing her around the house. She brightens my day. In this day and age where children are murdered out of convenience or they have the children & end up treating them as Katie’s dad treated her. It makes me want to vomit!

But back to the point of this post, Jesus is our Christus Victor, as

Colossians 2:13-15 “13 And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14 by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. 15 He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.”

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You can read this chapter in full by clicking Death By Love.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Andy — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:31:00 +0000

I guess I didn’t really believe the saying “Monkey see, Monkey do” till a few months ago when my daughter started mimicing things that she saw mom, dad, and others do. At first it was cute to see her clap her hands when we clapped our hands or make the same faces we were making till one day her mom & I had a fight & I lost my temper & ended up punching the floor, walls & just screamed at her (which is not how anyone should act regardless if their son or daughter is watching or not). After that my wife & I started seeing our daughters temper tantrums get worse to the point where she would hit her mother or I depending on who was holding her. Granted she is only one years old & she doesn’t hurt us physically, but emotionally, it devistated us knowing that I had displayed that behavior to her & so she thinks that is how one acts when they are mad. It’s a truly humbling experience knowing that I displayed that to her as something ok to do. I know that I am a new father but the actions that I displayed were not new, in fact they have been apart of my life for a very long time. I thank God that my wife hasn’t just picked up & left me for my sinful behaviors (and they are many). I have a great wife & she is a great mother to our daughter. I pray that God will grant me the grace to be patient & to love my wife & daughter the way that Jesus loves the church. Sacrificially, humbly, putting my wants aside so that Christ will be emulated through me. The things that prevent me from doing this is my lazyness to take the time to read scripture. I am going to start memorizing scripture, starting with

2 Timothy 3:14-17 “14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it 15 and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”

With Kids In Mind

Andy — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:51:00 +0000

Being new parents and all, my wife & I are always looking for things that will better help us in raising our daughter in the ways of the Lord. Jerry, the gentleman teaching our Sunday School class right now gave us a very practical website to use for finding out what content is in a movie before we either see it in the theater or bring it into our home. The site is With Kids In Mind. It tells you everything from how many sex seens are in the movie to what the sex seens actually intail without getting too graphic (this is very much appreciated). It also gives the language content as well as the violence & gore content. A great tool in helping Christians or anyone for that matter raise their kids.

Humbled by Our Children

Andy — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 23:43:00 +0000

I am the proud father of a 1 year old little girl, and I love coming home & see her smiling & reaching out with both arms for me, and at times I get all chocked up (I’ve become way more emotional since I became a father). Next to my wife, she is my joy in life, I just love her tons & tons!

I have always had a hard time with prayer, with what to say, how to say it, & in what order to say it in. Recently, pieces of this puzzle have slowly started to come together for me. For example, when Jesus showed us how to pray in

Matthew 6:9 “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” I struggled with that at first, because anytime I hear our Father I think of a Catholic Priest. That is the last thing I want to think of when I pray. Also, Jesus said this is how you should pray, not what you should pray, and I don’t think He gave it to us as a montra to say over & over again as a form of punishment/repentance. I believe He was giving us a format in which to pray. In essence, he wants us to look to Him as Daddy! That thought clicked in my mind when my daughter does that to me with her arms wide open waiting for me to hold her in my arms. The sad thing is, I don’t often look to God as my daddy who’s arms are wide open ready to receive me back. I know that I would feel more comfortable praying if I looked to him as daddy. At my age (29) I feel very funny calling someone else daddy, though I’m getting over it.

Thank you Daddy for always having your arms wide open for me to come talk to you.